Don't Tell Mom
by the first x-man
Summary: Eugene had a bad habit doing things behind Rapunzel's back. Oh, not anything horrible, just a little bit of mischief, and influencing his kids. The sort of mischief that normally a father, especially one soon to be a king, should probably not be letting his children do, and they usually involve with the words, "Don't tell Mom." (T for mild cussing)


Don't Tell Mom

Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just this story

* * *

Eugene and Rapunzel had been happily married for eleven years. Their family consisted of one set of twins; a boy and a girl, and another little girl. The twins, Nicholas and Emma were ten, their youngest little girl, Celeste, was six. Though they were happy when Rapunzel was pregnant with their third child, it was a bit unplanned. Over the years Eugene had proven himself to be the fun parent; always wrestling with the kids, telling them bedtime stories, and taking them out on their own little adventure. Rapunzel, however, was always the cautious one. Even though Rapunzel loved adventure and stood toe to toe with danger in her younger years, her motherly instincts kicked in when she became pregnant. But, she never let her cautiousness get the better of her for fear that she would end up turning into Gothel.

Eugene had a bad habit do things behind Rapunzel's back. Oh, not anything horrible, just a little bit of mischief, and influencing his kids. The sort of mischief that normally a father, especially one soon to be a king, should probably not be letting his children do, and they usually involve with the words, "Don't tell Mom." 

* * *

"Alright my little monsters, time for bed!"

Three children groaned in unison as their wrestling match was abruptly broken up by their father's voice.

"Please can we just stay up for a little bit longer?" The youngest pleaded. She put her hands together with her elbows cocked out to the side giving her father the best puppy dog eyes she could muster.

Eugene looked at his daughter. He gave her a sympathetic look, and a crooked smile.

"Oh sweetheart…that's cute, but no, that look does not work on me."

Her little heart sank along with her posture as she pouted.

Emma chimed in and said, "What if you read us a bed time story?"

"Aren't you kids getting a little too old for bed time stories?"

"No, not me, Daddy!" Celeste piped up.

"Yeah and it wouldn't be fair if you read Celeste a story but not one to us."

Nic had a point.

'The little thieves,' He thought. Eugene looks at his kids with accusing eyes. They all stared back with pleading looks of hope that their plan had worked. Eugene finally gave in.

"Fine, I'll read you a story," the three nearly cheered at the tops of their lungs, "BUT," he said loudly grabbing their attention once more, "you have to go to bed right after. One story and that is it."

Three heads shook in agreement.

"Now what story do you guys want?"

"How bout something scary," Nic exclaimed. The other two agreed with excitement.

"How about the one about Dracula," Emma put her arms up above her head and her hands forming claws. She chased her twin around pretending she was going to bite him. Celeste made a distasteful look towards her older siblings.

"Ya know Mom is gonna kill me if she finds out I read that story to you again. I am the one who got in trouble last time," he stated matter of factly, pointing his index finger to his chest.

"Yeah but she won't find out if someone doesn't blab," Nic looked directly at Celeste. She retaliated with sticking out her tongue at him.

Eugene contemplated his options, turned to the door and cracked it open. He stuck his head out and looked down both side of the hall to make sure no one was around. Once he was sure the coast was clear he shut the door, locked it and turned around.

"Ok go get me the book."

Once the book was in his hands he looked at it. It was a fairly small sized book and the print was pretty large filling up the pages so it was a short read. He took a seat on the floor with his three little "Monsters" who were in front of him bundled up in blankets. He opened up to the first page, but before he started reading he looked up and pointing to each child and stated "Don't. Tell. Mom." 

* * *

Emma was in her room looking out her window. Her bedroom window faced the western side of the island. The sun was setting down into the ocean. This was also a perfect time to plan her heist. She would tie her sheets together, tie one end to her balcony and slide down. Her bedroom was only on the third story so it wasn't anything she couldn't handle.

After watching the shift change with the troops, Emma learned that dusk is the best time to climb down out her window and out the back gate with little chance of being caught. She had watched the guards and planned her every move down to the last detail. She learned that at dusk, that was the time with the least amount of guards. During the day there weren't too many dark corners to hide in and at night the amount of guards doubled.

Her father taught her everything she knew about blending in with crowds, moving swiftly, and climbing. It's not that she wanted to run away, she just felt she was over do for a little adventure. It had been a while since she had been on one and need to stretch her legs.

Just as she gathered everything she need and started heading back out for her balcony she heard a loud knock at the door.

"Emma?"

The voice on the other side of the door startled her. She turn her head quickly while still moving forward which caused her to run into a small table knocking over a glass vase and shattering it on the ground. She froze; the door jarred open. Her father's head popped in.

"Are you ok?"

"Yes sir, sorry." Still being a little stunned being caught, she stood stiff.

Eugene raised an eye brow at her taking note of his old leather bag he gave her, her cloak, and the sheets tied up trailing out her balcony.

"Going somewhere?"

Her eyes darted away from her father's.

"I just…wanted a little adventure."

Eugene smiled. He walked a few steps backwards towards the door. Leaning backwards, he looked over his shoulder both ways to make sure the coast was clear. He entered back in and shut the door behind him. Eugene walked over to the sheets on the floor and inspected all the knots to make sure that they were tied correctly and tight enough. He tied one end of the sheets to the balcony and dropped the rest down below.

"Here, I'll go first to make sure it can support my weight."

Emma smiled, and nodded.

Eugene threw one leg over the ledge of the balcony, but just before he started working the rest of the way down he looked at Emma, pointed his finger at her and said "Don't tell Mom,"

* * *

"Hey Sweetheart, I'm gonna take the kids to the festival, you coming?"

Eugene yelled over his shoulder as he helped Celeste button up her coat. It was the fall festival and it was one of the kids' favorite times of the year.

"No it's ok I might meet ya down there probably after dark. I've got some things to finish up here."

He gave Rapunzel a quick peck and asked "You sure? I can stay and help and send the kids with your parents."

"No it's fine, go have fun. I just have a few last minute details to work out for the diplomat meeting next week. I'll fill ya in on it later."

"Well alright if you insist."

"Come ooon Dad were gonna miss the festivaaal."

Eugene started getting dragged away from Rapunzel by three excited children.

"Ok I guess I'll see ya tonight"

Rapunzel smiled and waved them off. "Ok have fun."

Nic, Emma, and Celeste bounced down the hall talking about all the things they wanted to see. Eugene was kept busy trying to keep them all three in his line of sight.

"Guys, calm down. Nic, stop running, Celeste, don't yell we can all hear you."

"We can't help it we're too excited!"

"We gotta hurry Daddy!"

"Celesta honey it's not going anywhere. We will get there just relax."

They finally made it to the festival. It was hectic and chaotic, and so exciting; so many things to do, so many sights to see, and so much food to try. Eugene looked for the first brewery he could find. He found one on the right just a little up ahead. It didn't look too busy. He corralled his children with him as he stood in line for his beer. As he stood in line he looked up at the sign to see what they had. There was a large variety. Different types of brews from all different parts of the world. He decided on one that was from Scotland. He exchanged his money for a large, tall mug. It looked rather dark. He took one sip and nearly choked on it. Not from bad taste, it was actually one of the best beers he had had in a while. It's just that he realized he had better limit himself to only one of those otherwise he was sure he wouldn't be able to get back home with all three kids.

He turned around and noticed his kids were staring at something in the distance. He looked up and saw that they were giving out elephant rides.

"Is that what you guys want to do first?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah!" Celeste could barely keep herself contained. Eugene backed up as Celeste jumped up and down to keep from getting his beer knock out of his hand.

"Ok, ok hold on." Eugene dug into his pocket pulled out three gold coins each. He put them into Emma's hand.

"Here, stay together, Celeste do not let go of your sister's hand, don't run ahead too far."

As quickly as he could finish his last command the three took off. Eugene picked up his pace a little to keep up with them. He looked at the line of people. He thought he might want to find a comfortable spot. This was going to take a little while. Oh well, it will give him a chance to enjoy his beer. He was about to take a seat at a nearby picnic table when he noticed his kids were running up to the front of the line. He stood up and made a loud whistle, nearly everyone around jumped a little and looked in his direction.

"Uh uh!" Eugene pointed to were the end of the line was. He quickly made his way up to where his kids were.

The three looked sheepishly toward him and Emma and Nic started their way back toward the end of the winding line.

"But…" Celeste started

"No ma'am, you can wait in line just like everyone else." Eugene cocked one eyebrow and snapped his finger and pointed back to the line.

"Yes sir"

The lady at the entrance gate recognized who it was.

"Oh Sire it's ok, they can go."

Eugene turned his head back, looked at her sidewise and shook his head.

"No just because they are royal doesn't mean they get to take advantage of that."

It was rare to hear someone of royalty be so considerate, but then again, everyone knew that Eugene was not the typical royal. He received a few smiles from those who stood in line. He nodded his head to them walked back to his spot back on the picnic table as he waited for his kids. Eugene finished his beer and made a mental note to get something not so strong and to make sure he got something to eat along with it next time. A waitress came with a platter balance on one hand came and picked up his empty mug. He gave her a gold coin as a tip and she thanked him.

Finally his kids made it to the front of the line. Emma was pulling Nic off the fence, and Celeste was once again jumping up and down. Eugene chuckled to himself. They were definitely his kids. They knew how to manipulate people in their favor who didn't know them well and they all had an energy level that just wouldn't quit. The woman at the gate let them through and helped them climb up the rope latter attached to the giant elephant saddle. There was a man dressed in an Arabian costume already sitting on top of the elephant. Celeste climbed first with Emma right behind her and Nic followed. Once they got situated, Emma held tight to Celeste and Nic leaned back a bit wanting to feel free, as if he was he was just hanging out on top of a wild animal. The man in front gave the command to urge the large animal forward. Once the elephant started moving, Eugene could here Celeste's shrieks of excitement.

He walked up to the fence and leaned on it watching his kids with a crocked smile.

"HIIIII DADDYYYY!"

He waved back. He watched them go around and around a few more times and then they all climbed down. Eugene was greeted by Celeste running towards him. He bent down and picked her up and rested her on his left hip.

"Was that fun?"

"Yeah, I wanna do it again!"

"Well let's go see some other things first and then we can come back."

"Actually we all agreed we are hungry."

"Yeah meee toooo."

"Well….I guess I can feed you." Eugene smiled to Celeste as she stuck her tongue out at him. He retaliated by trying to grab it between his index and middle finger. She quickly retracted it with a giggle.

They all started to walk toward where all the food was; so many delicious smells to take in. The children couldn't decide what they wanted. Then they found the holy grail of food. Eugene heard them all gasp. He looked in the direction they were staring and noticed it was an ice cream shop. Ice cream was hard to come by and was usually only served in the larger, more populated kingdoms.

"Please, please, please, Daddy can we have some?"

Eugene thought about. 'Well Rapunzel isn't here yet. She would kill me if she found out they had nothing but ice cream for dinner' He took a look around to make sure the coast was clear, and Rapunzel said she wouldn't be around until after dark. The sun was just now starting to set.

He pulled out some money and gave it to Emma.

"Stay together."

As his kids ran off Eugene looked a little to the left of were the ice cream shop was and notice a stand that was selling the largest turkey legs he had ever seen and more beer.

"Hell yeah"

He quickly jumped in line. Eugene ordered his turkey leg and this time he got a wheat beer made from Germany. It was a lot smoother than the last one. By the time he got his food he was met with three little children with three giant bowls of ice cream topped with all sorts of nuts, fruit, and chocolate.

"You guys are not going to finish that." Eugene chuckled to them.

They sat down at another picnic table and started to dig in. It didn't take long for the three to have chocolate all over their faces.

"Oh," Eugene looked up from his turkey leg, "Don't tell mom."

"Ok!" They responded in unison with their mouths full of ice cream.

* * *

Nic woke up extra excited. Every summer Eugene takes Nic out to go hunting, fishing, camping, or out to visit another kingdom. It was a special time for just him and his father to hang out and be buddies for a while. Nic loved being with his father. He always made it fun and sometimes a little dangerous, but the good kind of dangerous. This time they were traveling to a place called Florence. It was in Italy. Nic had never been to Florence before, but he had visited Italy on a family trip one summer. Eugene had been all over, and by doing a lot of research found out that his ancestors were from Florence, Italy. So he decided to take his son with him and share some family history with him on their father/son trip. Eugene never really knew his father, so he wanted to make sure he was always there for his children, especially Nic. He always made sure that he planned something every summer with each of his kids separately just for them.

"You ready Nic?"

"Yes sir, just about."

"Alright well hurry up, we have to leave soon if we want to make it there by tomorrow."

It was a "short" boat ride to Italy, and then they would take a coach into Florence. Nic grabbed his bag and headed out of his bedroom towards his father. Rapunzel and the girls were right outside his door to wave them off.

"Oh I'm gonna miss you two."

Rapunzel bent down to give her son a kiss, which ended up to be three, four, five, kisses all over his face.

"Mooom, I'm not a little kid anymore. I'm a man."

Eugene let out a giggle. Rapunzel just rolled her eyes and shook her head. She went to give him a big hug.

"Woman!" Nic demanded, "Let go of me."

Rapunzel shot straight up in shock.

"Eugene's jaw dropped "Nicholas Jameson Fitzherbert! What is wrong with you?!" He slapped his son up side his head.

Nic rubbed the back of his head and looking down at the floor.

"Sorry Mom." Nic apologized quietly and guiltily.

Rapunzel just shook her head resting her fists on her hips popping her right hip out. She looked at Eugene accusingly.

"I didn't teach him that I swear to God!"

"Yeah, uh huh."

"Wha..I jus…oh whatever." Eugene just rolled his knowing he wasn't going to win that battle.

Eugene picked up his bag and gave Rapunzel a kiss and hugged and kissed both of his daughters.

"You girls be good, we'll see ya next week."

"Bye, have fun."

"Bye bye Daddy, bye bye Nic."

"Bye Dad." Emma said good bye to her twin by pushing his head. They both giggled.

Eugene watched his oldest two say good bye in their own way and he gave a little laugh, shaking his head. They headed out the door on their way to the boat.

The boat ride only took a day and they sailed into Pompeii. It was a smooth ride over, and there were no delays. Eugene spent most of the ride over explaining to Nic what the different sails were, how to navigate a ship, and what the ship lingo was; aft, bow, sheet, haul, things of that nature. Though Nic was a rambunctious kid, he had a love for learning, which was something Eugene could really appreciate. Even though Eugene was raised as an orphan and spent a good portion of his life as a thief, he never passed up an opportunity to learn a trade, read a book, or discover odd little facts. Nic showed the same interests for learning since he was very young. Once in Pompeii, they found where their coach was going to be to leave for Florence. Eugene got their tickets and saw that they didn't need to leave for another hour. They left their bags with the coachmen and decided to walk around for a bit.

"So where do you want to go?"

"I'm actually kind of hungry"

Eugene agreed, "C'mon, let see what we can find."

They didn't have to walk far, there was a little tavern just right up ahead. They walked up to it and saw a sign:_ "**Serviamo Cibo"**_

"Dad what does that sign say?"

"It says, "We serve food"."

It couldn't be bad, they looked at each other and without speak a word agreed to give it a try. When they walked in, it was low lighted like normal taverns. There was a bar in the center of the room, and around the perimeter of the small room sat tables and booths. It was a rustic look and it was filled with people from all over the world. Nic stayed close to his father and even grabbed ahold of Eugene's vest so as to not get separated. They weaved their way around hoards of people and happen to find an empty table toward the back. There were menus conveniently already on the table. Nic opened it up and stared at it blankly.

"Dad it's all in Italian."

"Yes, son, I know. I will help you translate it. Besides I thought you were learning Italian in school."

"That's Emma, I'm learning German."

"Ooh….ok."

Just then someone walked up to their table.

"Cosa ti piacerebbe ordinare?"

"(What would you like to order)?"

Eugene looked up and noticed his son wide-eyed looking at their waitress. Confused, he looked in the same direction. Eugene was just dumbfounded to find their waitress missing something very vital; a top! Their waitress was topless! He also noticed that their waitress was very well endowed. Eugene looked back to Nic. His eyes were fixated upon this woman's chest. Eugene looked around and that's when he noticed; all the waitress were topless. Oh God! He walked into a topless tavern with his ten year old son!

"Oh Lord! Uh…I think we made a mistake."

Nic finally unglued his eyes to look at his father.

With a smile Nic said, "I don't think we did."

"Of course you don't. Mi dispiace signora; ci puoi dare un momento?"

(I'm sorry ma'am; can you give us a moment?)

"Sì."

"Grazie"

"I think we should go."

"I disagree."

"Nic."

"C'mon Dad, it's just us, besides this is our man bonding time."

"Nicholas your ten."

"Come on Dad besides don't you want to see what's on the menu?"

"I think we just saw it, son."

Nic grinned.

Eugene looked at his pocket watch. They only had forty minutes to eat and catch their coach, otherwise there wouldn't be another one until the next morning.

"Merda."

"(Shit)"

"Alright, but order quick, and then we are out."

Eugene motioned for their waitress to come back.

"Siamo pronti?"

"(Are we ready?)"

"Sì, avrà tortellini, e avrò il prosciutto cotto"

"(Yes, he will have tortalini, and I will have the prosciutto cotto."

"Va bene, sarà pronto in un attimo"

"(Alright, it will be ready in a moment.)"

"Grazie"

The waitress left with a smile. Eugene and Nic sat in silence. Eugene nervously tapped his fingers and the table and was bouncing his knee up and down. Nic was wide-eyed and soaking in ALL he could see. He was about to get on his knees in his chair to get a better view but Eugene quick snapped his fingers and stopped him.

"Sit."

'Oh God Rapunzel definitely kill me if she finds out about this.'

Eugene suddenly was broken from his thoughts when their waitress brought their food. He saw Nic gazing at their waitress once more. He cleared his through and pointed down to his plate urging him to eat fast. He thanked the waitress and they both ate in silence. Once finished he paid the tab, left a tip, grabbed Nic's hand and made a b line for the door weaving in and out of crowds. Once they made it to the door they stepped out and Eugene stopped to take a deep breath.

"Don't tell Mom?"

Eugene turned his head towards his son and nodded.

"Yeah."

* * *

"Shhh, Nicolas be quiet."

Emma and Nic, went to find their father who was with their grandfather, the King, going over the training schedule for the Royal Guards. While waiting for him to get out of his meeting, they decided to wonder around a bit. It was rare they found themselves on the military side of the kingdom and chose to take advantage of the situation. Nothing seemed all that exciting. The troops were training outside, and there were a lot of locked doors. But as they ventured on, there luck changed for the better and found a big door that had accidently been left unlocked. They opened it up and gasped at what they saw. Barrels and wooden crates filled with all types of explosives. Dynamite, gun powder, small grenades, you name it, it was in there. They walked in and took a look around. There was an open crate with at least 50 stick of dynamite. Emma ran over and quickly pushed the door closed just enough to make it look like it was closed but enough to not to lock themselves in. She ran back to where her brother was sitting and knelt down next to the open crate.

"Make sure you tell the Captain about the changes."

"You know he's not going to like that."

"Well he can deal with it. If you gives you any flack over it just tell him to come see me. This whole rivalry thing between you two has got to end."

Eugene chuckled "Yes sir."

Eugene walked out of the King's office and shut the door behind him. He started walking down the hall reading over his schedule. He heard what sounded like giggling, and whispers. Eugene turned all around wondering where it was coming from. He stopped circling for a minute and just listened. He heard it coming from down the hall. He followed it until he came upon the ordnance room. He noticed the door just slightly ajar. He pulled it open and saw his two eldest children digging into a dynamite crate. He cleared his throat. The twins snapped their heads up and gasped. They saw their father glaring at them arms crossed leaning up against the door frame.

"What do you two think you are doing?"

There was silence for a moment

"Uhhh….."

"Uhh is right. Why are you two in here? More important how the hell did you two get in here?"

"We came looking for you because we got done with school early and we were waiting for you to get done talking to Grandpa and we got bored and we started walking and we found this door open and we found this stuff and….."

"Wait you found it this door unlocked?"

"Yes sir."

"Fantastic." There was sarcasm in Eugene's voice. "Well get the hell outta here your gonna blow yourselves up."

The two quickly jumped up and ran out the door back into the hall. Eugene looked at the open crate of dynamite.

"Did you two open that crate?"

"No sir."

He looked back at his kids then back at the open crate. He looked around the hall to make sure the coast was clear quickly went in took a stick of dynamite and a small box of matches, hid them in his vest and quick ran out making sure the door was locked.

"Hurry, follow me."

The three quickly and quietly ran out the door to the courtyard and to the stables.

"Dad, where are we going?"

"Shush"

He got two horses from their stalls. He didn't bother saddling either of them. He had taught them how to ride bareback long ago. He put Emma and Nic on one and then he swung himself up on another. Emma was riding in front so she took the reins. Eugene headed out of the stables with Emma and Nic following close behind. They started heading out toward the woods. They all three rode in silence until they were deep into the forest.

Emma asked again, "Dad where are we going?"

"You guys said you were bored, right?"

Emma and Nic exchanged confused looks. Once Eugene felt they were deep enough into the forest, he stopped his horse. He helped Emma and Nic down tied their horses to a low branch and started walking another fifty yards until he got to a small clearing in the middle of the woods.

"Ok I think this is good."

Eugene took out the stick of dynamite and took out the box of matches. He set the stick of dynamite in the middle along with some foliage, and some broken branches.

"Ok, when I say run, run as fast as you can, because when I light this thing it won't take long for the fuse to run out. Got it?"

The twins nodded with smiles creeping on their faces.

He took a match from the box and struck it against the bottom of his boot, he knelt down close to the dynamite, "You ready?" The nodded, getting ready to bolt. Eugene lit the fuse.

"RUN!"

They all three sprinted the way they came and just before the explosion, Eugene yelled,

"DON'T TELL MOM!"

The End!

* * *

AN: Ok so I was watching a commercial for a car, and that is where I got this idea. I have another story coming out but it is taking me a while. It is gonna be pretty intense so get ready. Comments and critiques are greatly appreciated. Hope y'all enjoyed! Thank you for reading.

P.S. To all of you who have read, reviewed, and or liked my last story, thank you so much. I had a request to write another one but not so sad this time. Hopefully this made y'all laugh. Oh one more thing, for those of you who do know Italian, I am not sure if the translation is correct. I just used Google to translate, it looked good so I used it. I'm sorry I don't know Italian.


End file.
